Empty Nesting
I constantly find it amazing that I have reached the age that I am. Life has gone very fast, and it only seems like yesterday that I was a carefree child, not worrying about anything except what I was going to do for fun today. Suddenly, I am at an age where "old age" things are beginning to enter the picture. How did I get here so fast?
When I look back over my life...so far because I am still not so terribly old...I see that there have been many phases of life where certain circumstances dominated my life. When I was a kid it was all about growing up. Those first 18-19 years of my life still seem like a major portion of my life even though they are only about a quarter of the years I've lived. But they were the formative years where I grew from an infant into an adult, so they were important and momentous.
Then I became a young wife and mother, taking on a new family and greater responsibilities. And there were sub-eras within those years like the kids' preschool years, their elementary years, then the high school years (many times a bit of each era was in play at the same time), each with different dynamics and responsibilities. But, alas, those days flew by in a whirlwind of busyness and activity..school, 4-H, sports, all the things they brought into our lives. Actually this time of family-raising lasted us for 32 years, beings we kept adding on another child in those years when we thought our family was complete! But we wouldn't give up a single one of those years for anything.
Now we have entered into another phase of our lives, the empty nest years. Somehow I had assumed I would hate those years. I had heard other parents talk about being sad because they kids were all gone and now they only had each other. And yet, I anticipated the time to do things without making arrangements for kids or having their activities crowd out the things we wanted to do as a couple.
Well I am happy to announce that these empty nest years have been great, even if there was some adjustments to be made. What adjustments, you ask? Well let me tell you about them.
One of the first things we noticed is that the house stayed cleaner with fewer people to dirty it up. We also discovered that the kids weren't solely responsible for all the mess because it still accumulates. We still have mess with our stuff, and the dust and dirt still gather. But there are fewer drink cups strung throughout the house, fewer coats and shoes by the door, and just generally 2-people clutter rather than 6-people clutter. Unless the grandkids have come to visit, there are no toys strung through the living room or slopped drinks making sticky spots throughout the house.
Another adjustment was in the cooking department. Where as I had been doubling recipes when all the kids lived at home, we were now halving recipes, with mixed results. We finally got the brilliant idea of cooking the entire recipe then freezing the leftovers in individual freezer containers for quick lunches. This has been a marvelous idea, and has saved us from eating the same dish 3 or 4 meals in a row, plus lunch is a lot less stressful when we just microwave some leftovers. We also eat a lot of easier meals for supper, pizza, smoothies, sandwiches, usually in front of the TV with our feet up. In fact, the dishwasher conked out a couple months ago and we've barely missed it with the few dishes we dirty up.
When all the kids lived at home we washed clothes 6-7 days a week just to keep up with all the laundry. As each child got old enough to do their own laundry, we turned it over to them. When Teri finally took over her own laundry it became necessary for me to wash only once a week, and we also discovered the "load size" dial on the washing machine...up to that time we had only used the "extra large" setting. Only problem was that we had to buy enough socks and underwear and jeans to last an entire week. It had been unnecessary to own that many of those items when we washed oftener.
We noticed that our activities changed when the kids all left home. We didn't feel the same desire to attend local sporting events without a kid involved. Parent-teacher conferences became a thing of the past. No fund-raisers to bake for or stuff to buy from the kids to raise money for school...although there seems to have been other people's children who have tried to make sure we don't miss that. We were now free to do things that don't involve kids...and we don't have to make arrangements for their provision in our absence.
Probably the biggest change (and the best) is the noise level in our home. We don't have a large home, but we can still find our own corner where we enjoy our own quiet time. We can also sit together in the same room and hold quiet conversation or lose ourselves in our own activities. We kind of forget how quiet our house has become until the kids come home. Our kids don't seem to be overly noisy, but we certainly notice when they are around. While we always look forward to the kids coming and enjoy the time they are here, after they leave Mike will usually comment, "I love it when there's just the two of us!"
So it appears that this will be our way of life until something changes. So far each change has been positive, marriage, the addition of each child, each child leaving home to begin their own independent life, and now our "empty nest" years. Sadly the next change will probably not be as happy since it will likely involve a separation of our lives. But that's a sad subject and this is supposed to be a happy blog post.
To those who still have kids at home, enjoy those times. They go fast and before you know it, even when you are up to your eyeballs in mess and diapers and responsibilities, they are precious times. To those who are facing impending empty-nest-hood, don't be sad. If you have kept good relationships with the kids, they will be home to visit, usually with dependents in tow. And if you are now living back in your couple life, embrace it because this is why you got married to begin with.
Sorry for the lack of pictures on this page. I truly meant to look up a few pictures and take a picture of my freezer full of meals. Even without kids, life can be hectic. Have a great day!!!
When I look back over my life...so far because I am still not so terribly old...I see that there have been many phases of life where certain circumstances dominated my life. When I was a kid it was all about growing up. Those first 18-19 years of my life still seem like a major portion of my life even though they are only about a quarter of the years I've lived. But they were the formative years where I grew from an infant into an adult, so they were important and momentous.
Then I became a young wife and mother, taking on a new family and greater responsibilities. And there were sub-eras within those years like the kids' preschool years, their elementary years, then the high school years (many times a bit of each era was in play at the same time), each with different dynamics and responsibilities. But, alas, those days flew by in a whirlwind of busyness and activity..school, 4-H, sports, all the things they brought into our lives. Actually this time of family-raising lasted us for 32 years, beings we kept adding on another child in those years when we thought our family was complete! But we wouldn't give up a single one of those years for anything.
Now we have entered into another phase of our lives, the empty nest years. Somehow I had assumed I would hate those years. I had heard other parents talk about being sad because they kids were all gone and now they only had each other. And yet, I anticipated the time to do things without making arrangements for kids or having their activities crowd out the things we wanted to do as a couple.
Well I am happy to announce that these empty nest years have been great, even if there was some adjustments to be made. What adjustments, you ask? Well let me tell you about them.
One of the first things we noticed is that the house stayed cleaner with fewer people to dirty it up. We also discovered that the kids weren't solely responsible for all the mess because it still accumulates. We still have mess with our stuff, and the dust and dirt still gather. But there are fewer drink cups strung throughout the house, fewer coats and shoes by the door, and just generally 2-people clutter rather than 6-people clutter. Unless the grandkids have come to visit, there are no toys strung through the living room or slopped drinks making sticky spots throughout the house.
Another adjustment was in the cooking department. Where as I had been doubling recipes when all the kids lived at home, we were now halving recipes, with mixed results. We finally got the brilliant idea of cooking the entire recipe then freezing the leftovers in individual freezer containers for quick lunches. This has been a marvelous idea, and has saved us from eating the same dish 3 or 4 meals in a row, plus lunch is a lot less stressful when we just microwave some leftovers. We also eat a lot of easier meals for supper, pizza, smoothies, sandwiches, usually in front of the TV with our feet up. In fact, the dishwasher conked out a couple months ago and we've barely missed it with the few dishes we dirty up.
When all the kids lived at home we washed clothes 6-7 days a week just to keep up with all the laundry. As each child got old enough to do their own laundry, we turned it over to them. When Teri finally took over her own laundry it became necessary for me to wash only once a week, and we also discovered the "load size" dial on the washing machine...up to that time we had only used the "extra large" setting. Only problem was that we had to buy enough socks and underwear and jeans to last an entire week. It had been unnecessary to own that many of those items when we washed oftener.
We noticed that our activities changed when the kids all left home. We didn't feel the same desire to attend local sporting events without a kid involved. Parent-teacher conferences became a thing of the past. No fund-raisers to bake for or stuff to buy from the kids to raise money for school...although there seems to have been other people's children who have tried to make sure we don't miss that. We were now free to do things that don't involve kids...and we don't have to make arrangements for their provision in our absence.
Probably the biggest change (and the best) is the noise level in our home. We don't have a large home, but we can still find our own corner where we enjoy our own quiet time. We can also sit together in the same room and hold quiet conversation or lose ourselves in our own activities. We kind of forget how quiet our house has become until the kids come home. Our kids don't seem to be overly noisy, but we certainly notice when they are around. While we always look forward to the kids coming and enjoy the time they are here, after they leave Mike will usually comment, "I love it when there's just the two of us!"
So it appears that this will be our way of life until something changes. So far each change has been positive, marriage, the addition of each child, each child leaving home to begin their own independent life, and now our "empty nest" years. Sadly the next change will probably not be as happy since it will likely involve a separation of our lives. But that's a sad subject and this is supposed to be a happy blog post.
To those who still have kids at home, enjoy those times. They go fast and before you know it, even when you are up to your eyeballs in mess and diapers and responsibilities, they are precious times. To those who are facing impending empty-nest-hood, don't be sad. If you have kept good relationships with the kids, they will be home to visit, usually with dependents in tow. And if you are now living back in your couple life, embrace it because this is why you got married to begin with.
Sorry for the lack of pictures on this page. I truly meant to look up a few pictures and take a picture of my freezer full of meals. Even without kids, life can be hectic. Have a great day!!!
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